Lately, I've been doing a lot of screaming.
No, I'm not constantly terrified, and no, the stress from finals week approaching hasn't driven me over the edge (yet). The explanation is a little less extreme than that: I'm in a play. And in the play, there comes a moment when my character screams.
If you were to come to this play, you might think, "Wow! That scream sounded so effortless!" (Or maybe just, "Wow, that scream was...loud.") Either way, neither was true when we started rehearsing for the play.
As someone who has taken her scream from quiet and forced to loud and effortless, I feel that it's my civic duty to share with you the three steps that got me there, and the lessons that they taught me.
Step #1: Scream...a Lot
Can't figure out why you sound like a dying pterodactyl every time you ride a rollercoaster? Maybe you're not practicing your scream enough. For a really tough challenge, walk to the middle of a mall on Black Friday (or during the upcoming holiday season) and really let all your frustrations out vocally. For the less bold (such as myself), I recommend driving to a Walmart parking lot at about 11:00 PM and screaming from the safety of your car. This is obviously totally not from personal experience, but if it were, I would tell you to limit yourself to less than 30 minutes to prevent making your throat sore and giving yourself a COVID scare. (Again, NOT personal experience.) The point is, practice a lot - but not too much.
The Lesson:
If you wanna get better at something, keep doing that thing. You aren't always going to be good at something right away. That's okay - it just means you have an excuse to do that thing a lot! This is a hard lesson for me, because I like to be good at things. I like it when people think that I'm good at something, and I also like that I don't have to put as much effort into it. But I'm learning that the amount of effort I put into something is equal to the amount of satisfaction I feel afterwards. If I was always good at everything, I would never have a summit experience because I would never have anything to summit.
Step #2: Take a Deep Breath
This is the setup, and the setup is everything. Have you ever had a nightmare where you want to scream, but you just can't? In my experience, it's always because I can't even get in a big enough breath. If you want your scream to be truly bloodcurdling (as it seems that every good scream must be), you're going to need to stand or sit up straight, plant your feet, and inhale like you've just smelled your absolute most favorite smell ever. For me it changes, but right now it would be pine needles. Whatever works.
The Lesson:
Sometimes in order to accomplish something the way you want to, you need to take a breath or two first. Don't overlook the preparation that is simply letting yourself rest. That counts just as much as the other stuff! Just because people only hear the scream doesn't mean the breath isn't important. (Hint: it's waaay important.)
Step #3: Go For It
Once you've practiced, you're ready, and you've taken that big breath, there's nothing left to do but scream. And to do that, you have to commit. Really put your heart and soul into it, and put aside all thoughts of how you want it to sound. Just let it happen in a totally unrestrained way. If you hesitate at all, or if you try to make it sound good by controlling your voice, you will get a sound that closely resembles what I imagine a hyena gargling salt water would sound like. No one will believe that what came out of your mouth was supposed to be a scream, and you will embarrass yourself. Trust me, I know.
The Lesson:
It's okay to take some time in making a decision, but once you've decided, embrace that decision. I am absolutely terrible at making decisions and sticking with them. If you wanted to hang out with me right now, I probably couldn't even decide what we should do together. That's because I am scared of making a real decision that people could judge me for. God forbid that anyone ever find out that I like Mod Pizza - who knows how they could psychoanalyze me with that information?? But at the end of the day, life is too short to spend walking on eggshells just so you never make a mistake. Sometimes it's better to make a mistake on purpose than to never make one at all because you didn't do anything on purpose. Do everything that you do on purpose - own it!
So there you go! Next time someone asks you if you know any cool party tricks, you can tell them you're a professional at screaming. They may not appreciate your talent, but that might just mean that they aren't familiar with the life lessons that come with being so gifted. In that case, you can show them this post. And if they still kick you out of their party after that, at least they will know how to kick you out confidently and without hesitation, in which case you can congratulate them on their personal growth as their door slams in your face.
I hope that no one actually gets kicked out of a party because of this post, but I do hope that you at least took something away. And if the only thing you took away is that I take weird analogies way too far, well...welcome to my mind.