Kid Quotes

VBS summer #5 is in the books, and after 8 weeks with so. many. kids., I have a lot of quotes. Here are some of the things they said.

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Teacher to two 11-year-old girls: You guys are too young for girl drama, right?

Girls: ...no.

Me: Being single is okay.

Kid: Until it's not.

Me: But I have friends, so I'm not lonely.

Other kid: I have some jumping spiders at home. I can give them to you so you won't be lonely.

Kid, to her sister: All you do is watch romance movies ALL THE TIME.

Sister: Despicable Me is NOT a romance movie!!

Kid: Yes it IS!!

Me: What did you guys do at VBS today??

Girl: Well, I cried.

Me: Oh, you lived in Oregon? So did I! What part of Oregon did you live in?

Kid: The first part.

Teacher: Does anyone know what shalom means?

Kids: It means hello!

Teacher: And what else does it mean?

Boy: ...bonjour?

Kid: I like rock music. My favorite radio station is called volcano girls.

Teacher: What's your favorite color?

Little girl: Black. It reminds me of the darkness.

Teacher: What makes you a good friend?

Kid: I have ADHD.

Teacher: So how do we get close to God?

Kid: We die.

Kid: Is your face always like that?

Me: Like what?

Kid: I dunno...weird.

Me: If you could be a fruit, what fruit would you be?

Kid: I would be a mango so I could eat myself!!

Teacher: If someone is being mean to us, what do we do?

Kid: We KILL them!!

Teacher: Oh...no.

Kid: How do you say "one" in Japanese?

Other kid: I don't know any Japanese.

Kid: It's uno.

Other kid: Uno??

Kid: Yeah. Uno, dos, tres...

Other kid: That's Spanish, stupid.

Kid: I really liked when I was five.

Me: Why?

Kid: I had a Star Wars helmet.

Kid: When I was five, I thought that Star Wars was real. And now that I'm older, I STILL think it's real. My parents say it's not, but IT IS. And someday, I'm going to slice Darth Vader's head off with a light saber.

Teacher: Do you want to spend the rest of eternity with God?

Kid: I want Twinkies instead.

Teacher, making faces: Can you tell how I feel?

Kid: High.

Kid: By the way, just so you know, if you ever find a T-Rex skull, using it for money is a good idea. They sell for TONS of money. Like nine hundred and fifty dollars even.

Kid, to me after I lead song service: That was painful. I've just been through a lot of pain.

Me: I think 90s BMWs look pretty cool.

Kid: No, they look old, like from the 80s.

Me: What's wrong with the 80s?

Kid: Weren't you, like, born in the 80s?

Kid: Ohio is, like, this huge intergalactic region and there's no laws there. That's what it says on YouTube.

Kid: I'm going to kill a kangaroo with my katana when I turn 18.

Kid, to me: Do you have a family?

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Wow, kids say some weird stuff. I feel like I got burned a few times in there. I'll leave you with a parting gift: my personal favorite kid quote of the summer that I may have repeated a few times since and will continue to repeat.

"WHAT THE CHEESEBURGER???"