VBS summer #5 is in the books, and after 8 weeks with so. many. kids., I have a lot of quotes. Here are some of the things they said.
Teacher to two 11-year-old girls: You guys are too young for girl drama, right?
Girls: ...no.
Me: Being single is okay.
Kid: Until it's not.
Me: But I have friends, so I'm not lonely.
Other kid: I have some jumping spiders at home. I can give them to you so you won't be lonely.
Kid, to her sister: All you do is watch romance movies ALL THE TIME.
Sister: Despicable Me is NOT a romance movie!!
Kid: Yes it IS!!
Me: What did you guys do at VBS today??
Girl: Well, I cried.
Me: Oh, you lived in Oregon? So did I! What part of Oregon did you live in?
Kid: The first part.
Teacher: Does anyone know what shalom means?
Kids: It means hello!
Teacher: And what else does it mean?
Boy: ...bonjour?
Kid: I like rock music. My favorite radio station is called volcano girls.
Teacher: What's your favorite color?
Little girl: Black. It reminds me of the darkness.
Teacher: What makes you a good friend?
Kid: I have ADHD.
Teacher: So how do we get close to God?
Kid: We die.
Kid: Is your face always like that?
Me: Like what?
Kid: I dunno...weird.
Me: If you could be a fruit, what fruit would you be?
Kid: I would be a mango so I could eat myself!!
Teacher: If someone is being mean to us, what do we do?
Kid: We KILL them!!
Teacher: Oh...no.
Kid: How do you say "one" in Japanese?
Other kid: I don't know any Japanese.
Kid: It's uno.
Other kid: Uno??
Kid: Yeah. Uno, dos, tres...
Other kid: That's Spanish, stupid.
Kid: I really liked when I was five.
Me: Why?
Kid: I had a Star Wars helmet.
Kid: When I was five, I thought that Star Wars was real. And now that I'm older, I STILL think it's real. My parents say it's not, but IT IS. And someday, I'm going to slice Darth Vader's head off with a light saber.
Teacher: Do you want to spend the rest of eternity with God?
Kid: I want Twinkies instead.
Teacher, making faces: Can you tell how I feel?
Kid: High.
Kid: By the way, just so you know, if you ever find a T-Rex skull, using it for money is a good idea. They sell for TONS of money. Like nine hundred and fifty dollars even.
Kid, to me after I lead song service: That was painful. I've just been through a lot of pain.
Me: I think 90s BMWs look pretty cool.
Kid: No, they look old, like from the 80s.
Me: What's wrong with the 80s?
Kid: Weren't you, like, born in the 80s?
Kid: Ohio is, like, this huge intergalactic region and there's no laws there. That's what it says on YouTube.
Kid: I'm going to kill a kangaroo with my katana when I turn 18.
Kid, to me: Do you have a family?
Wow, kids say some weird stuff. I feel like I got burned a few times in there. I'll leave you with a parting gift: my personal favorite kid quote of the summer that I may have repeated a few times since and will continue to repeat.
"WHAT THE CHEESEBURGER???"